3 Ways to Make Her Ask You Out
For women who wore red, they received more attention from men then if they wore any other color. Also, if your profile picture is a group shot with friends, you have a better chance for someone to click on your profile and look through it. It’s as easy as a click here and a click there to write-up a very impressive dating profile. About 95% of what is written is exaggerated and everyone else lies about salary, job, living conditions, hobbies, weight, body mass, and some even put a fake picture up, just to get people’s attention. Also, when you post on a free site, the quality of the people you are choosing from may not be those who put relationships at a priority in their lives. You therefore are not ending up with a compatible mate. According to Dr. John G. Kappa, PhD whose book, Relationship Strategies: The E&P Attraction, we all have an equal and contrary compatible match. Everyone else should be aware of characteristics that we are attracted to and also characteristics that we aren’t attracted too. This is why we may be constantly picking the completely “wrong” partner.
There’s also a thing called, choice overload. That’s where people undermine their ability to make a good, well thought out decision due to having way too many options available to them. SO most likely you will end up “thinking” that you chose the “correct” partner, when in fact you picked the wrong one.https://topadultreview.com/stripchat-review/ To date, therefore, it’s all about a guessing game. If people claim that their scientific algorithms work, why do you need to spend 9 -12 months to find someone with whom you should totally click with right away? Finding a partner is not like finding a new car or a new pair of jeans. You can’t simply wake up one morning, say to yourself, “I need a husband or wife,” and then look through thousands of models and soon you find the right one. Love doesn’t work this way. Another secret to online dating that most people aren’t getting is the fact that if you already have NOT been successful with women or men, outside the internet, what makes you believe that you will be successful because you are using a popular dating site? New research indicates that internet dating websites offer several benefits to singles seeking companionship, but generally do not improve the odds of finding a lifelong partner or a healthy long-term relationship. Remember, they call it falling in love because you just fall, that you do not force yourself to trip.
Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook12Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating Tagged in: dating advice, facts, onlinedating Amy Muise is about to drop some education on us. Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, I conducted interviews with three sex reseachers, Amy Muise, Jocelyn Wentland and Kristen Mark. Those first two interviews can be found, here and here. This being the last one, is with Amy Muise. With that, I’m gonna let her take it away. Did I mention what a hottie she is? Whoo whee! As sex researchers, what trends do you see during economic hardship?
Amy Muise: Hardship in the economy actually decreases hardness in the bedroom (or anywhere else you might have sex). Researchers have found that people have less sex during an economic recession ( but they still use porn – just mostly free internet porn). One reason is that people experience higher levels of stress and anxiety when financial times are tough and this decreases libido. Another reason is that an economic downturn is not the best time to have children, so evolution may be partially to blame for decreased sex drive during a recession. Sex decreases stress (and using birth control can reduce the chances of having children) and that can be accessed relatively cheaply (depending), so an economic recession is actually a good time to be having more sex. What are some interesting facts about sexuality you’ve run across in your studying of sex? Amy Muise: Here are a number of findings from personal and other people’s research: -Facebook contributes to jealousy in relationship – when women feel jealous they “creep” more on FB, whereas men avoid looking at their partner’s page -The number one way that undergrads initiate contact with a potential partner is via text message ( but they still think that calling is most appropriate when you are asking someone out on a date) -Being naked more ( and having professional pictures taken of yourself naked – erotic photos) makes women feel better about their bodies and their sexuality. -The reasons why you have sex with your partner in a long term relationship are more important for your sexual desire than how often you have sex -This one I just learned today on twitter from another hot Canadian sex researcher: Blowjobs happen on their own, but going down on a girl often also includes a blowjob or sex.
Myth of the Friend-Zone
the occupation of sex researcher can be a hindrance on the dating scene (surprising I know!). Some guys are intimidated or feel that they their performance is being evaluated by an “expert” and this makes them nervous. Who’s wanting to “do it” more? Men or women? Amy Muise: Researchers have consistently found that in general men have higher sexual desire than women, however, this does not mean that women do not like or want or desire sex. Some women have very high desire, just like some men have low desire. Jos can tell you more about this from her research on highly sexual women. Why do couples lose that lustful “jack rabbit” sex drive?
Do they get complacent? How can they overcome it? Amy Muise: Often sexual desire does decline over the course of a relationship. In the beginning stages, the relationship is new and exciting and all you can think about is being with your partner, and being naked with your partner. However, it is difficult to maintain this type of intensity in the long term. Most people continue to have regular sex in long-term relationships, but their desire for sex is typically lower/less intense/less spontaneous. In the early stages, for most people, they experience frequent, spontaneous desire for their partner. The relationship is less stable, and while this has it’s own challenges, that anxiety can be very beneficial to your sexual desire. As you be more committed and stable, you experience less anxiety and often less sexual desire.
Here are some things you can do: -Realize that desire does not always occur before sex. Sometimes you may not be in the “mood” for sex, but once you get going, you will likely get into it and be happy you did it. -Do something adventurous or novel with your partner. You feel a sense of arousal when you engage in a novel, exciting activity and you will attach this arousal to the person with whom you are doing the activity. -Make sex a priority. It is not necessarily a bad thing to schedule time to be close to your partner. It might turn out to something fun and exciting to look forward to. If you think your desire needs a boost, schedule a sex date in place of a dinner date. How do people react to you when you tell them you are really a “sex researcher”? What a fly honey she is! Amy Muise: I think my SRBFFs would agree that once you reveal that your occupation is a sex researcher you become the most popular person at the party … everyone has questions about sex and relationships. However, sometimes the occupation of sex researcher can be a hindrance on the dating scene (surprising I know!).
Some guys are intimidated or feel that they their performance is being evaluated by an “expert” and this makes them nervous. It also compels a lot of really cheesy pick-up lines ( Do you need a research assistant?) and dumb questions (So what do you do to get a PhD in sex, have sex and watch porn for hours?). To date a sex researcher, you have to be confident, open and comfortable with your sexuality. Amy Muise: Thanks for your questions – best of luck with the threesome/foursome sex research post. (It should go without saying that no amount of luck in the world got me close to enticing these lovely sex researchers. #iFail) Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…https://topadultreview.com/ Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Questions and Answers, Sex Tagged in: sex research Image From: http://collateraldamageproductions.com/ “We didn’t click.” “There weren’t any sparks.” “We didn’t have chemistry.” As a dating coach, I talk with my clients about chemistry plenty. Especially with my female customers. For several women, chemistry is a pretty black-and-white deal. They either have it with their dates or they don’t. And some say they know if it’s there before they’ve even ordered a drink. I don’t know about you, but I just don’t buy this. My female clients aren’t lying. Chemistry can be immediate.
But if chemistry is always magical and immediate, we could never create it or impact it. That’s what I don’t buy. My clients really don’t feel instant chemistry with most of their dates. But does that mean they can never develop chemistry with that person? Or, if the date had gone a little differently, would they have clicked? There will always be women you won’t relate to no matter what you do, and that sucks. The good news is, you can increase your odds of connecting with your dates. No magic required. The key is not to prevent chemistry from developing in the beginning. In other words, get out of your personal way. Your intentions, words and actions can be preventing your dates from connecting with you: You really, really want her to like you.
Well, obviously. The problem is the really, really part. You’re so concerned with what your date thinks of you, you purposely put out an image you think will appeal to her. You’ll embellish your stories or tell a bunch of jokes.
Stef and the City Takes Dating Offline
Or you might bring money or possessions into the conversation, or name drop your most influential buddies. This superficial stuff will kill your chemistry with nearly all women. Instead, show her the real you. Talk about what’s really important in your life, what you do for fun and what truly makes you happy. Being genuine shows real confidence and women love confident men. You want to say all the right things. You want to be smooth, witty and charming. Who doesn’t? The problem let me reveal, most of us aren’t naturally smooth, witty and charming.
If you’re always focused on saying the perfect thing, you’re never focused on your date. You’re thinking about what to say next in place of listening. Your conversation is one-sided. You don’t need to be perfect. Stay in the moment and connect through commonalities. Validate her opinions and assert yours. Show you’re into her by listening and asking her. A good conversation can create chemistry, but a great conversation is a two-way road. You’re an open guide. You tell her everything there is to know about you. You want her to see all your wonderful qualities and show you have nothing to hide. Problem is, you’re revealing too much too quickly. This reads as needy. And, need I say, needy is not good. Don’t tell your whole story in one date.
Isn’t it simpler to read a chapter or two and look forward to what might happen next? If you share your thoughts, feelings and opinions on 30-plus subjects the first time you meet someone, you leave nothing to the imagination. Create some mystery. Cover two or three subjects tops, and then get out of there. A little mystery is exciting and chemistry breeds from excitement. So you see, chemistry isn’t totally random or evasive after all. Make it easy for women to connect with you by keeping genuine, staying in-the-moment and creating a little secret. When you let the real you come through (and don’t overdo it), no one can stand in your way. Not even you. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook19Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Men, Tips & Advice It all started one day when I was scrolling through YouTube videos at home. Serendipity, I suppose, led me to a video that billed itself as the most successful sugar dating site. In the video, a man revels in the presence of his sugar baby, flaunting his success as the website founder and a sugar daddy. Though, his arm candy didn’t look too comfortable.
I watched the whole video and I was convinced that most sugar daddies were creepy, married men, looking to exploit younger girls. As much as I was grossed out by the majority of them, I was paradoxically intrigued by the idea of sugar dating. I was propelled by my investigative mind to garner a firsthand experience in the realm of the sugar dating globe. Maybe I could write about it, I thought. I decided to go undercover as a sugar baby. I signed up for a profile on a sugar dating website, uploaded a few of my photos and wrote down a few lines in the “About Me” section. After the verification process completed within a few short hours, my profile was online. Then the messages started pouring in. They were all kinds of people who dropped me messages — Whites, Chinese, Indians, Blacks, and Hispanics. I was curious about what these people could offer besides money. Don caught my attention. Presentable, wine loving, golf playing, and yacht owning, he fit the profile of a highly successful guy. He arranged a lunch meeting with me after we chatted for some hours.
As soon as I spotted him at the restaurant table, my eyes fixated on his shiny light blue suit and pale yellow tuxedo vest underneath. He was surprisingly charming, reasonably sturdy and over six feet tall. Funny enough, he didn’t touch on what he was looking for at all. Instead, he began acting as if he were a mentor and I was a little girl, giving me annoying bits of life advice I didn’t ask him for. He was loquacious but failed to read my uncomfortable nonverbal cues. I had already lost interest halfway through the meal. That was the first time, and last we met. After Don, I met Adam who was in his early thirties. His love for sports and whiskey was pervasive in his photos. We chatted for a while before concurring to meet up for dinner in a casual Italian restaurant. Adam wasn’t exactly a charmer, but he had an aura of confidence that made him appear larger than his diminutive stature. He owned a listed company and was in the process of divorcing his wife. He probed into my taste in men, hobbies and education background. Again, we had a great talk. After dinner and a few drinks at a bar, he sent me home and shot me a text saying he had fun. At that point, I realized one thing — neither Don nor Adam was a real sugar daddy, but both of them were looking for something.
I just couldn’t quite put my finger on the what. Why on earth were they on a sugar daddy website, then? I couldn’t wrap my mind around it and they didn’t give me anything I could write about. I decided to try one more time. I started chatting with Derrick, a decent-looking thirty-something business owner who never disclosed his last name, phone number and where he lived when we talked. When I requested a recent photo, he almost immediately deleted it the moment he hit send. This highly circumspect move said that he had something to hide — he had a wife, I thought. He picked a 5-star hotel restaurant in which he knew his wife wouldn’t show up. The lunch table overlooked a picturesque panoramic harbor view — a stunning setting for the wrong storyline, in retrospect. Before our meeting, Derrick didn’t make it clear what he wanted. Face to face, he asked me point-blank: “How much are you asking for?” I was taken aback and startled by his bluntness. After all, Don and Adam were evasive about their intentions. By contrast, Derrick came off more aggressive and desired to cut to the chase. He was looking for a sugar baby. My first instinct was to play dumb: “What do you mean?” “Would you like to be compensated with gifts or a pay-per-meet fee?” he continued. I couldn’t answer it because obviously, I wasn’t going to give him sex, which was obviously what he was looking for.
I leaned back in my chair, knowing it was only a matter of time before I blew my cover and he figured out I was just there to waste his time. Somehow, I managed to stammer a response to avoid any awkwardness. As the conversation went on, it dawned on me he had been in a string of transactional relationships before. He told me with no guilt or pity. A feeling of discomfort and a surge of injustice done to his wife started to rise within me. I might also give him one last shot for a legitimate response, so I asked: “Don’t you have a wife, though?” I asked. “Yes, and I like her. But she doesn’t know about this and doesn’t have to,” he calmly responded. How is it love when you can’t even be faithful to her? You are a hypocrite. If only I had uttered this to fill that forthcoming silence. I sat there, feeling awful for his wife whom he kept in the dark.
On the one hand, I felt like someone else’s marriage was being ruined when I was there only for entertainment and writing inspiration. I knew I wasn’t doing anything morally wrong although I was sharing the exact same table with a married guy. I assume more than half associated with the men posing as “sugar daddies” are probably married anyway. But hearing someone say something so remorselessly to my face was enough to fill me with anger and disgust on the spot. Whatever reason he had to justify what is clearly infidelity, the true reason lies in something he couldn’t readily admit: he is greedy. I have nothing but scorn for him and any of those men who say they love their wife, because the fact is, they don’t. I bolted, leaving a few bites of my meal on my plate and was ready to walk out of the door. When we made our way out of the hotel, he was looking over his shoulder and keeping me at arm’s length— he mustn’t be seen with me in broad daylight. I didn’t feel good about anything that happened there.
On my way to the train station, I pulled out my phone from my purse and deleted my account on the sugar dating website for good. I had gathered enough to write on this subject. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: Dating Is this puritan attitude innocent or outdated? We all know the expression: No Sex Please – We’re British! For a long time, the British population’s attitude towards sex has been seen to be somewhat, well, Victorian. In this day and age, why is this still the case? Are the British prudes? As a nation, we have a tendency to keep our sex lives strictly to the bedroom, and when we do, our stereotype suggests we are boring, and spend the entire time apologising. If you were having a conversation with somebody and additionally they raised the subject of something even vaguely x-rated, chances are that you would blush furiously and try to change the subject. We all are aware of the Germans reputation for being sexually promiscuous, and the Dutch are hardly shy!
You only have to take one step into the city of Amsterdam to discover how open they are when a club called ‘The Cock Ring’ is right there, in your face! Compared to the Germans, Dutch, and most other nationalities for that matter, British people are known for being against this sort of ‘smut’! The closest thing we have to open us up to sex, is the shop Ann Summers, which despite stocking sex toys and sexy lingerie is relatively tame. However, this may be changing with the generations, and forces one to wonder: is this a stereotype that will stay with the British forever? Where did this attitude come from? Britain’s bizarre avoidance tactics when it comes to discussing sex are something that most people are aware of. The UK can be seen as more prudish than some of its more sexual liberated European cousins, such as The Netherlands, featuring its red light districts that are tourist attractions, or Sweden,where a couple were shown having sex on live television. This could only be the stuff of imagination for us Brits.